Sex

Everybody seems to want it, and in their time, and in their way. They can't imagine why a loving God would withhold something so wonderful from them and confine it to an institution as undesirable as marriage!

"God gave me a sex drive, so He expects me to use it, right?" He also gave you food to eat, but calls gluttony a sin (Deuteronomy 21:20).

"Then why did He give us a sex drive if we weren't supposed to use it?" Now, first off, that is an unreasonable question. God does want you to use it, but only in love toward your spouse.

Sexual intercourse is supposed to be your gift to your spouse for committing the rest of his or her life to yours.

The Bible says that when God created man, He said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a suitable helper for him." And then He made woman from man. Then He gave them both a wonderful reminder of their co-dependence on each other: sex drive. Sexual desires remind us of Genesis 2. Or at least, they are supposed to.

As with everything else, sin has clouded our view of sex, so that, today, we tend to view sex as a rite of passage into adulthood. As if fornication, incest, and rape are evidences of maturity!?! Actually, those deeds are just more proof of the fact that we are all evil and deserve to go to Hell.

What is marriage really? Is it an enslavement of man and woman to an intolerable, unlovable mate who doesn't understand or care about their needs and just is so selfish and jealous and mean that no one should ever want to get married in life? The Bible paints a very different picture.

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."

Two different passages, two different emphases, but the exact same instructions. Peter and Paul tell the wives to submit to the husbands as the God-given heads. But then, in honor of Christ's admonition that the leader must be the servant of all (Matthew 23:11), they both command the husband to remember to exalt their wives. If each does this, then there will be far fewer divorces and much happier marriages.

Will there be misunderstandings, etc? Yes. You have two sinners in the same building. There will be conflict! But it can be minimalized if each remembers God's admonition to them specifically and why God created both of them in the first place. God created man in His image. God created woman for man. If men and women bear this in mind when dealing with each other, oh what joy marriage would become! Instead of two selfish pigs stuck in a relationship, there will be two loving adults united as one before God, living in harmony for all their days. That's God's design. Follow it if you want to be blessed.