Saturday, January 13, 2007


Everybody seems to want it, and in their time, and in their way. They can't imagine why a loving God would withhold something so wonderful from them and confine it to an institution as undesirable as marriage!

"God gave me a sex drive, so He expects me to use it, right?" He also gave you food to eat, but calls gluttony a sin (Deuteronomy 21:20).

"Then why did He give us a sex drive if we weren't supposed to use it?" Now, first off, that is an unreasonable question. God does want you to use it, but only in love toward your spouse.

Sexual intercourse is supposed to be your gift to your spouse for committing the rest of his or her life to yours.

The Bible says that when God created man, He said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a suitable helper for him." And then He made woman from man. Then He gave them both a wonderful reminder of their co-dependence on each other: sex drive. Sexual desires remind us of Genesis 2. Or at least, they are supposed to.

As with everything else, sin has clouded our view of sex, so that, today, we tend to view sex as a rite of passage into adulthood. As if fornication, incest, and rape are evidences of maturity!?! Actually, those deeds are just more proof of the fact that we are all evil and deserve to go to Hell.

What is marriage really? Is it an enslavement of man and woman to an intolerable, unlovable mate who doesn't understand or care about their needs and just is so selfish and jealous and mean that no one should ever want to get married in life? The Bible paints a very different picture.

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."

Two different passages, two different emphases, but the exact same instructions. Peter and Paul tell the wives to submit to the husbands as the God-given heads. But then, in honor of Christ's admonition that the leader must be the servant of all (Matthew 23:11), they both command the husband to remember to exalt their wives. If each does this, then there will be far fewer divorces and much happier marriages.

Will there be misunderstandings, etc? Yes. You have two sinners in the same building. There will be conflict! But it can be minimalized if each remembers God's admonition to them specifically and why God created both of them in the first place. God created man in His image. God created woman for man. If men and women bear this in mind when dealing with each other, oh what joy marriage would become! Instead of two selfish pigs stuck in a relationship, there will be two loving adults united as one before God, living in harmony for all their days. That's God's design. Follow it if you want to be blessed.


you da mom! said...

Thanks for visiting. By the way, didn't the Bible say that as punishment for their Original Sin men would have to slave away in the fields and be the "breadwinner" and women would have to slave away at home and be the "homemaker"...something like that? So, to be fair, it is totally appropriate that my husband comes home bitter and I, in turn, greet him with a weary "eh" at the door? Sex just may be the saving grace. Without it, we definitely would have killed each other by now! ;)

Big Ear Creations said...

Hey dude... take a look at my latest post and tell me what you think


Hey, "You Da Mom," I am only saying that sex is good in marriage, not elsewhere. The reason that people look for sex outside marriage is that they look at it as an entitlement instead of a privilege of marriage. It's all about them. Instead of sex being a gift of love that you give to that special someone, it is viewed as a "my right to have." It should not be that way.

Hey, if you know that you can comfort your husband that way, you go right ahead. The Bible condones that (Hebrews 13:4; Genesis 2:18-25; 1 Corinthians 7:1-5). But don't be demanding it from him, and he shouldn't demand it from you--but you should not withhold it if you know he needs it. That's what the Bible teaches (see previous references and the Song of Solomon).


My article on sex is not scandalous. I am trying to get people to stop worshipping the act. I am not telling people to have a better sex life. I hope you go to Heaven. I hope you have a good marriage. But if you miss out on the one and have the other, well, that is not a good trade. However, if you have a bad marriage and end up in Heaven, trust me, it was worth the pain! (Not implying in the least that the marriages of Christians will suck inevitably. Things do happen, but they are not the Universal Truth.

Jamestown James said...

Are you retarded?


No. What about you?

Femminista said...

Thanks for the invitation to this post of your blog.

I agree that sex is a gift--not a right or an obligation. I also think it is something our society has unhealthy ideas about it. For me, sex must happen in the context of a loving relationship--which, for me, is my marriage.

But I can't totally adopt your perspective, since I am not a Christian.

As a feminist, I think of marriage as a somewhat outdated idea, dating back to when wives were property and marriages were made as necessary political and economic alliances.

Marriage in different cultures comprises different things--and our culture's idea of marriage is not the only idea of marriage.

For me, the more important factor is commitment and love--rather than marriage.


Here is the question: who made man? Who then is in charge of all that man is supposed to do?

My answer to these vitally important questions is God. The God of the Bible is the One who makes the rules. That means that no matter if I like the rules or if some people have abused the rules, I am still held accountable for every breath that God gives to me. How will I answer on Judgment Day?